Do you experience any of the followings in your relationship - (a) Touching takes place only in the bedroom (b) Sex does not give you feelings of connection and sharing (c) You no longer look forward to sex (d) Sex is mechanical and routine (e) You almost never have sexual thoughts or fantasies about your spouse (f) You have sex once or twice a month at most If you have one or more of the above symptoms, you may be on your way to losing sexual desire.
If you are not happy about your loss of libido, it is best to grapple with this before it becomes entrenched.
Here are 8 tips to rekindle desire.
(1) Improve your sex life with exercise Running, walking, swimming or any physical activity you enjoy, with or without your partner.
If you already walk or run or doing any workout, try challenging yourself just a bit further, so you feel a sense of accomplishment and vitality.
This physical confidence will carry over into sexual confidence.
Both sex and exercise have been proven to help reduce stress, so doing both on a regular basis should help you stay relaxed and happy.
Exercise also helps increase your sexual desire.
Exercise, along with a healthy diet and adequate sleep can boost your libido.
(2) Recognize that sex is not always perfect It can do a lot of help to relieve performance anxiety if you keep a realistic expectation that not every sexual encounter has to be perfect.
Probably only about 40% to 50% of sexual events can be mutually satisfying.
If you can laugh off moments when things do not work out, your partner will be more likely to try new things the next time round, since it takes some pressure and guilt off her, too.
(3) Try role-playing or indulge in sexual fantasy If you want your partner to share in the joy, you may want to explore further what you come across from some of the newer erotic literature and films which can potentially offer a lot of ideas to act out your sexual fantasies.
Both you and your partner can tell each other about his/her fantasies.
If she says she does not have any, you can rephrase your question by asking her to name just one thing she has ever wishes a man would do to give her pleasure.
(4) Schedule sex It will of course be wonderful if sex is utterly spontaneous, no planning, just the heat of the moment.
However, in reality, things do not always work this way.
For anyone with jobs and family, there may not be enough time to wait for the desire to come.
Instead, turn the setting aside, the time for physical intimacy into an opportunity to build anticipation.
You can develop these sensual rituals - get your partner a little gift, put on your favorite music and perfume, switch off your cell phones and get a temporary help to take care of the kids so that there will be no interruptions.
Scheduling can actually make sex more exciting and eliminate conflict over desire differences.
(5) Focus more on the process than the outcome Focusing on her other erogenous zones not just on the genitals can ease performance pressure and increase pleasure.
Explore each other's body to discover the potential pleasure spots and spend more time on those areas that are hypersensitive to sexual stimulation.
Be pleasure oriented, not goal oriented.
Tease and touch and take your time.
(6) Socialize as a couple Desire feeds on newness.
When you go out to a dinner party with other people, you get the chance to see your partner in a fresh light and the way she relates to others.
Another good thing to do is to get some friends around on a regular basis, even if it is just for a takeaway or supper round the kitchen table.
You will have a good laugh and if these friends have known you since the beginning of your relationship, this will remind you of the happier days and you will feel younger and more energetic.
(7) Ask for professional help Sex and marital specialists can be just as helpful when it comes to the loss of libido, so get over your resistance and call for professional help.
Check with your doctor to see if there are any medical conditions that may be playing a part.
If you are taking medication, such as an anti-depressant, that may be causing loss of libido, discuss alternatives with your doctor.
(8) Talk about your needs One of the best things you can do to improve sex life is to communicate well with your partner.
If you are a bit embarrassed to talk, you can get one of those online self-help guide on sex.
Cozy up and read it together and let your partner know you are open to make things better between the both of you.